Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize