yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
