party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
