That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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