i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
