Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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