I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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