Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
God, I missed his penis.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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