My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
