you guys were way drunker than both of me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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