Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
