Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
