so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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