her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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