But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize