it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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