One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
