And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
