I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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