break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
