then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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