Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
