your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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