if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
