I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
