dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
