I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
