is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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