I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
