Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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