i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
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You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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