It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
