So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
