is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
