Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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