She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
