I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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