The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
