Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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