Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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