I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
