I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
