i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
