You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
