At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
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Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
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I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize