I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize