Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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