He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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