That's intense
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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