So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He kissed a someone with a penis
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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