My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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