I accidentally had phone sex last night
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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