You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
