I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
