my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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