i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
