eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
