I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
