We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize