Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
