she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
