man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
