How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
