I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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