i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
