I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
