Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
